


Zipper Expert

by Shadoow (Chikita)



Series: Haikyuu Omo Stuff (English) [18]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuto freaks out a lot, Desperation, Everyone Is An Adult, Gen, Humor, Mood Swings, Omorashi, Omovember 2020, Pee, Wetting (somewhat)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27658109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chikita/pseuds/Shadoow
Summary: On a snowboarding trip with his three best friends, Bokuto learns that several liters of tea and snow pants with difficult zippers don’t go that well together. It’s fortunate that he has Kuroo, who has always been a nice person.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: Haikyuu Omo Stuff (English) [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1504397
Comments: 11
Kudos: 31





	Zipper Expert

**Author's Note:**

> I literally got this idea on my way to work on a day when it was, surprisingly freezing outside and I suffered a lot. I tried to write this as non-suggestive as possible but it was hard considering the prompt 😂 Why are they on winter vacation? I have no idea either.
> 
> Omovember Day 21: Wardrobe malfunction

“I’m gonna die, Kuroo. I’m seriously gonna die!”

With a groan, Kuroo rolled his eyes for the third time that afternoon before shooting a glance at his friend walking beside him with his face pinched, the redness on his cheeks most likely due to the cold instead of embarrassment. The wind was biting at their exposed faces as they made their way down the hill where they had rented a cabin for the holidays, the sky turning a deep orange.

“Just go pee, dude. We’re in the middle of nowhere, the world’s your toilet. I’ll even hold your snowboard if you want me to.” Bokuto gave him a look, similar to that of a defiant child about to throw a fit because they ran out of candy, lip quivering almost as if he was about to cry.

“I can’t do that! I’m gonna freeze my dick off.” Kuroo had to grit his teeth to not crack up at the serious tone he’d used, but when Bokuto was in “a mood”, especially of _that_ kind, it was better to not let him think he was making fun of him. At least not if he didn’t want him to sulk for the rest of the evening all the way into the night. Bokuto was a fun guy and Kuroo enjoyed spending a good deal of his free time with him, but sometimes he could be a bit...difficult.

“Well, we’re almost there. Just pray Kenma isn’t hogging the bathroom again. You know he likes to shower with the door locked.” At this, Bokuto let out a long, pitiful whine, stopping for a few seconds to squeeze his legs together, or at least attempt to do so in those awfully thick overalls he was wearing. That was one of the worst things about the season. The _layers._

“I have to pee so bad, Kuroo, seriously why’s that happening to me? Why now? I swear, I never had to go this bad. Ever!” His frown deepened, the hand he didn’t need to carry his equipment sliding in between his thighs, frantically tugging and clawing at the material as if that would help.

Kuroo shrugged. “Tea does that to you.” He recalled Bokuto sipping from his oversized thermos bottle every few seconds while on the lift that had taken them up the mountain, looking down at the snow-covered landscape with a bright smile. “It’s warm,” he’d told him back then, smiling even wider and taking another sip as if to prove his point. He had to be regretting that by now, but Kuroo wasn’t about to rub it in. That would’ve been an asshole move and he wasn’t an asshole.

“Hey! You see that red thing over there?” He pointed a gloved finger at the only colorful spot standing out in a mass of white aside from the pine trees surrounding their path, “That’s our cabin. We’re almost home.” Bokuto’s head flipped around, his face lighting up before his eyes widened in horror. His hand on his crotch tightened, scrunching up the fabric as he fidgeted on the spot.

“No! That’s still _so_ far away!”, he cried out, eyes darting around in panic until they landed on one of the trees at their side, gaze filled with desperate longing. He looked away, shaking his head and mumbling something about dick freeze again before he went back to wade through the deep snow with clumsy steps. Kuroo followed without another word, his own bladder complaining about wanting to be emptied as well, almost as if Bokuto’s whining had invaded his nervous system. But then again, it wasn’t surprising he had to pee too, considering they’d been doing this snowboarding thing for a few hours, even after Kenma and Akaashi had grown too exhausted to keep going. The cold made it worse somehow, and Kuroo could only imagine how Bokuto must’ve felt after all that tea. Surely, he had the stronger bladder of the two.

As soon as the cabin came into full view, Bokuto sped up his walk, forcing Kuroo to grab his arm a few times so he wouldn’t trip and fall on his face. With an agonized, high-pitched gasp, Bokoto dropped his snowboard and backpack in the snow next to the entrance and went to hammer on the door as if he had a killer on his back, calling out to Akaashi multiple times.

“Is everything al-” said Akaashi asked as he opened the door, stumbling back as Bokuto shoved his whole 172 lbs inside without a proper greeting, dragging snow and mud all over the floor in his haste to run to the bathroom at the far end of the hallway. “-right. Huh?”

“He really has to pee,” Kuroo grinned as he answered Akaashi’s silent questioning. Other than Bokuto, he took his sweet time closing the door behind him before he tried to get his boots off, wincing at the throbbing of his bladder as he crouched down to undo the first lace. “And so do I.”

\---

The door shut with a pang, helmet, jacket, and gloves littering the tile floor as Bokuto wasted no time closing the gap between himself and the toilet, squirming in place as his hands struggled with the zipper of his snow pants. He had to hurry, but his fingers, damp and almost numb from the cold, kept slipping off the metal clasp, frustration and panic welling up in his chest as his bladder screamed for release. He tried again, again and _again,_ but the damned thing wouldn’t budge.

Almost as if it was-

_Oh no._

“Akaashi!” His voice was shaky and barely above a whisper, the pulsing in his lower abdomen making it hard to breathe, let alone cry out for help. He stood there on trembling legs, eyes filling with tears at the sight of the toilet right in front of him, so close and yet so far away from the relief he craved, _needed_ so badly, more than he’d ever needed anything in his life.

With a huff, he forced his eyes away from the bowl, pacing around in the small room for what felt like hours. He whimpered, fingers digging into the fabric over his groin, desperate for some friction, the tiniest bit of relief, but he got nothing. His bladder cramped, the first drops seeping through his clenched muscles, and no squeezing or wiggling of his hips did anything to stop them from coming out. That was it. His stomach dropped, blood running cold. _No._ He couldn’t hold it, no matter how hard he tried. It was only a matter of time until he would have a full-on accident like a baby. All because he was too fucking _stupid_ to get his pants off.

With a groan, he slumped against one of the walls, the cold tiles on his back sending a shiver down his spine as he curled up, still helplessly tugging at his zipper and the waistband of his pants until his fingers were covered in sore, red marks. A sob broke out of his chest, shaking up his entire being. It was useless. There was no chance for him to make it, his optimism was gone like a snowdrift, a dark cloud forming over his head with hail falling down instead of rain.

He was about to plunge into a pit of despair when all of sudden, there was a knock on the door with a certain urgency behind it, followed by a familiar voice. “Bokuto, look, I have no idea what’s taking you so long, but you have to hurry. Or let me in at least, I’ll pee in the shower.”

“You’re not peeing in _our_ shower.” Another voice chimed in, more soft-spoken than Kuroo’s but just as firm. Bokuto tried to speak up and ask for help, but all he managed was a pathetic sniffle that made him feel even more babyish. He couldn’t answer, he couldn’t even _move._ A small part of him wanted to surrender, unclench his muscles to give his body what it wanted so desperately, wet clothes be damned, but his pride forbade him from doing something that shameful.

“What else am I supposed to do, Kenma?” Kuroo’s words, though muffled through the hardwood of the door, came out desperate, almost whiny, “Bokuto is, I dunno, ball dancing in there with his imaginary woodland animals and I gotta go! He's not the only one with a bio-system.”

“You could always go outside I guess. It’s...not the best option but it’s not as gross as the shower thing.”

“No, I’m gonna freeze off my- oh, whatever. Bokuto!” The knocking resumed, more insistent than the first time. “I don’t care whether you’re shaving your eyebrows or stripping naked in there, I’m going in now.”

The door flew open to reveal a furious-looking Kuroo, clad in his old red and black tracksuit from Nekoma and fuzzy socks. He ignored Bokuto at first, going straight for the toilet with the thumb of his left hand hooking into the waistband of his sweatpants, the other one reaching inside at the same time. Before he went to pull out, he stopped in his tracks to look around the room, aborting his mission as soon as he spotted his friend hiding away in a corner.

“Uh...bro? What’s going on with you? You okay? Did you pee yet?” Bokuto shook his head, his whole body shaking with it as he pressed up against the wall. He gave the zipper another harsh jerk, in the faint hope of getting it undone by some miracle, but of course, it didn’t work. He panted, his vision swimming with tears. Kuroo blinked at him wide-eyed, shifting from foot to foot with one hand in his pocket, the other one fumbling with the drawstrings of his pants.

“Okay.” He took a deep breath, bouncing on the balls of his feet before taking a few steps forward, “We got this. I’ve dealt with stuck zippers before. This is nothing. I’m an expert.” The shaky tone of his voice betrayed his uneasiness, but Bokuto didn’t question it. He was too caught up in his needs, the overwhelming desire to relieve himself of that horrible _horrible_ pressure that was tearing him apart. He had no option but to trust Kuroo, the only hope he had.

“Hurry, please! I have to- I’m about to _die_ here,” he choked out, unable to keep himself from fidgeting and shaking as Kuroo practically went down on him to try his hand at the cursed zipper.

“For the last time, people can’t die from a full bladder,” Kuroo replied in a strained voice and continued to tug and jiggle at the metal clasp like Bokuto had done before, but with more precision and much less crying. “That’s scientifically impossible unless you have kidney stones or something. Not that it’s healthy or anything, but-”

“Kuroo!” Bokuto jerked out of his grip, grabbing onto Kuroo’s shoulders as another wave of need forced him to twist his lower body in ways he’d never imagined. There was another trickle, another spurt he barely managed to cut off, the wetness of his underwear taunting his overworked bladder into pushing out the rest of its contents. “Kuroo, I can’t- I have to _go!_ This sucks! I hate snowboarding! I hate winter! I hate this so much!” He sobbed, gasping as one of his hands shot down out of mere reflex, pushing Kuroo’s away in favor of pawing at his crotch.

“You’re blocking my way.” Kuroo shoved at his arm in an almost aggressive manner, and when he grabbed Bokuto’s wrist to pry it off, his own hand was trembling like a leaf in the wind. “Come on, let me help you! I almost had it. Don’t you _dare_ bail out now!” Maybe it was Kuroo’s unusually stern voice or the desperation in his words, but either way, it was enough for Bokuto to force himself to remove his hand, as much as it pained him to do so. Kuroo went back to work, even as Bokuto kept whining and holding onto his sleeve for dear life.

He was at his limit. He’d been at his limit since he’d made it through the front door. He couldn’t hold it. He _couldn’t-_

“There you go. We’re done.” The words and the resulting snap of the zipper being pulled down caused Bokuto to stare down in disbelief, and before he could process his newly obtained freedom, Kuroo’s hand landed on his shoulder with a resounding smack. “Now go! Go, before it’s too late!”, Kuroo urged with vigor in his voice, steering him away from the wall and towards the toilet.

Bokuto stumbled forward, nearly blind with tears, tugging his pants down all the way until he could finally- _No!_ His breath hitched. The layers. He forgot about the _layers._ As if the gods wanted to be especially cruel to him today, he started leaking again, almost tripping over his clothes on the floor hadn’t Kuroo caught him by his sweater. The dam broke right after he’d yanked down his leggings, the remnants of the liters upon liters of tea he’d downed earlier dribbling down his legs. In an act of panic-induced desperation, he turned on his heel and crashed back onto the toilet, not bothering to stand up when he could barely keep himself upright.

At first, he didn’t feel any relief, his brain muddled with anxiety and feelings of pure despair, even as the dribble turned into a gush, loudly splattering into the bowl like a broken water hose. But then a few seconds in, the sense of bliss hit him like a freight train as all the tension left his body, the world around him fading into a messy blur. His right hand made its way to his lower stomach, feeling his overfull bladder deflate under his palm as he peed and peed without an end in sight. The sigh he let out at this very moment seemed record-worthy of its own.

“Thank you,” he breathed out, panting and shivering with too many emotions flooding him all at once, embarrassment not being one of them. “Seriously, thank you, Kuroo.” Speaking of whom, where did he go?

“I hope you realize the sacrifice I just made for ya.” Bokuto followed the breathless voice to a certain someone standing in the shower a few feet away with his back turned to him. The curtain only hid half of his body, his stance and the muffled pattering noise revealing his deeds as he took care of his own urgent business. It had to have been urgent, because why else would he pee in the shower instead of waiting his turn after Kenma had explicitly told him not to do that?

“Woah, Kuroo! You- uhh...had to go that bad too?” Okay, now that was a stupid question. Very stupid.

“Oh come on, what does it look like?”, Kuroo shot back, but there wasn’t much of a bite in his voice, only exhaustion with a hint of annoyance, “You talking my ear off about weeing for an hour didn’t exactly help.” Bokuto blinked in confusion, frowning a little. He could hardly remember any of the things he’d said or done and maybe that was for the better. Just trying made his head hurt.

“Why didn’t you just go on a tree then?”, he asked, brows furrowing. That would’ve been an option back in the woods. “I mean...you told _me_ to do it multiple times when we were outside.”

“I guess I could’ve done that, yeah.” Kuroo shrugged, voice turning softer and much less abrasive than before. “But...I didn’t want you to suffer alone. That’d be unfair. And mean.”

“Bro.” Bokuto teared up again. If he hadn’t been sitting on his porcelain throne performing a scarily accurate imitation of the Niagara falls, he would’ve run up to tackle his friend in a hug.

“And the dick freezing, that too,” Kuroo ruined the moment, making Bokuto chuckle and happily kick his legs like a child until his eyes moved to his lap. His lap and the light grey boxers he was still peeing through as if that was a normal thing people did. At least his leggings were left unscathed for the most part aside from some minor splattering, his snow pants joining the remaining clothes on the floor in a crumpled heap. Technically, he was still wetting himself _,_ but did underwear count? _Nah._ That’s why his mom had always told him to bring an extra pair.

“Geez, I thought it would never stop. Talk about a close call.” Kuroo breathed out in awe, obviously referring to himself since Bokuto was still peeing, though not nearly as forcefully as he had done at the start. He smiled despite all the things that had gone wrong, the relief making him feel relaxed and warm all over, even with the wet, cooling fabric clinging to his butt and thighs. It didn’t matter. The storm cloud had vanished from his head, replaced with nothing but sunshine and fluffy clouds. He’d made it, more or less, and that was the only thing he cared about.

“Um...Kuroo?” He made eye contact with his friend who was stepping out from behind the curtain after “flushing”, an expression of pure ease on the other man’s face that matched what Bokuto himself was feeling. ”Mind if ya fetch me some fresh underwear? Mine is kinda...you know, _dripping.”_

“No problem.” Kuroo smirked as he shuffled over to the sink to wash his hands with enormous amounts of soap, humming the tune of some obscure cartoon intro under his breath. He looked cheerful, even more than he usually did. “Want me to get you a coffee as well?”

Bokuto considered it before shaking his head, still basking in the afterglow as the last trickle ebbed off, leaving only pleasant, _marvelous_ emptiness, save for a slight ache remaining where his bladder had been overstretched. “Hm, nope. I’m not ready to fill up again. Maybe later.”

“That was a joke, you lunkhead.” Kuroo rolled his eyes, but his fond expression remained even as he made his way to the door after wiping off his hands on a towel. The door that was, apparently, left ajar. Well, oops. Surely, their friends would have a few questions about what happened in there, but _hey,_ it was far from being the weirdest thing he and Kuroo had done in a bathroom. Neither of them would forget about that one time at camp where Bokuto had almost electrocuted himself with a blow dryer. That was a wild story, perfect for cozy nights at the fireplace.

“I know, _duh,”_ he lied, grinning back at Kuroo and ignoring the insult as he didn’t have it in him to take any offenses. He felt better now, _so much better._ The world was right again. All because Kuroo had saved his life. “Thank you. Honestly. I owe you big time. You really are an expert on zippers.”

“Anything for you, my friend.” Kuroo gave a mock salute, his smile as warm and innocent as ever. “But don’t get me wrong, if Kenma gives me a hard time about the shower thing, I’ll tell him it was all your fault.”


End file.
